It has been a while since we did a freebie Friday post! I have been thinking about this for a long time and I tried to figure out what kind of cards you would like. Should they be funny, romantic, artistic or simply drawn with a pencil? I love all kinds of different styles, but this time I decided to share some inspirational cards for you to gift a special person or maybe even print out and use as a wall art.




What kind of cards or wall art would you prefer for my next Freebie (whichever day I choose to have one) post? Leave a comment, I would appreciate a good advice.

Have a great weekend!

M.

It has been a while since I wrote about feelings, people and relationships. The thing is these things change daily. Hourly. In a matter a fact they can change in an instance. It takes only one look, one word, one second, one action, one person. One everything. It all comes down to how would you let something affect you. It all comes down to you.
As we all know life can change in an instance, that is why we should stop for a moment and embrace all the happiness that is currently surrounding us. You can always find something to be happy about. We all live in a never ending pursuit of happiness. We always dream about something new. We set new goals, want new jobs, better paychecks, bigger houses and it never stops. After a fleeting moment of pure happiness when you reach what you have been longing for it gets old. It is an elusive state that floats away like dust in the wind.

My days are pretty normal. I am happy. I am sad, normal sad and nothing more. Sad when my baby is crying. Happy to see him grow and sad about the fact that the baby faze is quickly rushing by. I feel blessed and loved. No matter what happens, I am so grateful for these blessings that nothing can take this happiness away from me. It will always be cherished and I will never forget these moments in life. I changed a lot after I had my baby. I feel like a new person and I try to live by the following rules.
Do not get me wrong, my life is not perfect. Far from it. But I have amazing people surrounding me, family that loves me and at this point in my life I regret nothing. All of the awful experiences, stupid choices, bad habits but also great experiences, good choices and great habits got me where I am today and I am grateful for that. I love my life and I embrace it with all the amazing and bad moments as we all have them. Life is not picture perfect, but when I am going to look back someday it will be a picture I will love.

M.

I have been feeling so lazy lately. But not lazy in general, I am a very selective lazy person I guess. I am currently lazy in writing posts, working on my masters degree and replying to emails, texts messages, sometimes even calls. The thing is, I am now very effective in other things, more of a housewife tasks. Lately I have been getting this urge to clean everything and get things in order in our house, make lists and prepare for future events. Cook and bake and make little thoughtful Christmas gifts for my family. Decorate our little apartment for Christmas and make everything pretty. Looking trough ideas for my wedding and making plans for the future. These are the things I am passionate about, my family, my plans, our future, happiness, here and now. About meeting out little baby boy in a short two months time. This is a pregnancy thing, right? I am changing so much and I have mixed feelings about it. On top of everything good I still feel quilt about the things I am not doing right now.

I am 8 months pregnant and very happy with my family life and proud of how far have I come. How I worked trough an awful eating disorder in the past, got over some tough situations in life, proud of how well I am handling my now very very rare panic attacks and going to amazing therapy sessions which have changed my life completely. Proud of me for accepting my own flaws, realizing my wrongs and owning my mistakes. Proud of letting go of quilt for something I had no real control over. Proud of my great family who stood by me and who I can always count on. Proud of my friends, who have stayed by my side no matter what. This is my life and I am doing okay.



There is still so much I want to do in life education wise, career wise, but I have no willpower and no real motivation for it. How is that I cannot get over the quilt? Because this is how I feel right now, a mix of happiness, joy, laziness and quilt for not working on some very important things in my life. I a type of person who always looks for something that is wrong, for something to feel quilt in life. It is a  very messed up situation - there are times when I feel pure joy and I get confused for a moment, because I forget about bad things. And then I remember that there is something I was worrying about that day, before my happy moment. I know there was something. And then I question myself and wonder, until I find something. And I will always think of something. This is quite common in people nowadays, as my therapist says. We are constantly doing something, rushing, thinking non stop and we do not let or minds rest. As far as I can remember, I was always a nervous kid, always thinking, analyzing, feeling afraid and being anxious. Going trough situations in my head over and over again - what I said, how I acted, how did everyone react, who laughed at me, why, what is that person thinking of me right now and so on. It is exhausting and no wonder I grew up developing panic attacks - I never knew how to deal with problems, I kept everything bottled up inside. No one knew what is going on with me. Even when I was semi-honest, I always kept something bottled up inside. Always. It was exhausting and pointless. Problems catch up with you, even if your mind pushes them away, your body will remind you of them. This one is hard to get rid off, that is why I am writing about it. Maybe it will help me getting this out there. Maybe it will help one of you. Lets all be kind to ourselves and give ourselves a break. Just relax. It took us years to become like this, it is going to take years to change our ways of dealing with things. Our minds are powerful and subconsciousness is something we have no control over. It takes time to change our patterns.


I decide everyday that I am currently fine with my lack of will for my education and career, because I deserve time to enjoy my wedding, my pregnancy, the arrival of my precious little baby and feeling happy about my life. There is no need for quilt right now. You decide what your priorities are and stick with them.  Choose to be happy. Maybe this is all there is about life. Decisions.



M.

I never thought it would be me. I never thought about what would I do in hard times like this. But it happened to me. I lost my Internet Service. I went cold turkey and it wasn´t by choice. I survived and I am sharing my experience with you. :)
Sorry for all the drama. I thought this "Internet addiction" we all have deserves a bit of humour with a glitch of sarcasm. The thing was, we moved to a new apartment a few weeks ago. It is bigger, brighter, with a little private yard space where we can barbecue and is in general a nice transition from the apartment building we lived in before. But we still have no Internet Service at home or even TV. For a Journalist/blogger and a computer programmer/ software engineer couple a first few days were tough. But then it got better and then it got great. Now it is just getting old. We still have a week left until we get our Internet Service set up and I am sitting in a public library to get my work done. And my computer time here is limited to 2 hours. And no, I am not stealing my neighbours WiFi or driving to my friends house just for the Internet. I have come to my peace with this situation and I am more relaxed.

Oh and yeah, we have mobile Internet but we used up all of our data very quickly. Honestly, who knew it would take this long to get an Internet Service nowadays. Anyway, I use my phone to check my email inbox and read BabyBump, because I love that app now that I am pregnant :) That's it.

Here is what I loved about being completely off the grid. We did everything as a couple and loved each others company. We talked about us, about our little family and our little boy, arriving in February next year. We made plans, to-do lists and set up our new apartment the way we like it and it works for us. We got a crib and are starting to set up the baby´s nursery, getting his things ready. We cleaned and cooked together, went for walks and watched movies. We even made future financial plans, sorted out our bills for years back. made budgets, Christmas lists and planned our wedding. It was and still is nice for us so that part of not having Internet gives you clarity of whats really important in life - love and family. And I spent time by myself, I read books and listened to music, painted, drew, made a few DIY projects, baked and talked to my friends and family on the phone or in person; without any distractions. It gives you a feeling that time stopped. You have time for yourself and your loved ones.
What I hated about not having an Internet Service? Not being able to read blogs, news, tweet and everything else I do daily. I missed out on my favourite TV shows and writing my Masters degree. I did not write new blog posts or any content to be exact. I mean you can write anything without an active Internet connection, but only to an extent. I research things and check if what I am writing about is true and so on. So no, I cannot really write without it. I also missed chats (online) with my family and friends and looking at online shops and picking out things for my baby boy. It is just so much things I could do daily. You guys know how it is - we do everything online these days, even pay our bills.

In all, it was and still is a positive experience, but we are very ready to get our Internet Service back. We will be good, we promise. We will take what we learnt from this experience and keep up the good habits. We will divide our time in a fair way and still bond as a family. To be fair, we are together in our computer room and talk all the time when we are online anyways. Really talk, person to person. I ask him if he wants a cappuccino and he says yes. Then he brings me snacks. Then we laugh at a funny video he found online. :) It is not like we ignore each other anyways.

If you plan on going off the grid for a while, take at least a week. Or two. Have a break. Have fun just being you. But then return to life :)


M.

People are very bad at expressing their feeling in the right way, including myself. I have been thinking about this topic a lot, since there can be a lot of drama in my life for no reason whatsoever. Especially since I am pregnant and hormonal - but lets face it: I have always been super sensitive about stuff. Pregnancy has nothing to do with it :) The point is: most people are feelings-illiterate. Since all of us have different personalities, we should learn how to express our emotions. Here are a few of most common drama triggers in my opinion.

I had a lot of time to think about my future goals - I am at a strange point in my life, when I am still trying to figure out who I am and who I want to be. I know at 25 years old it should be already clear to me, but I keep struggling and changing my mind. I don´t know what it is - things change and so do my goals - is that bad? I guess it is just life. How do you handle life changing decision and setting new goals?
This is more of a personal post, so I guess you are not going to get a lot of useful information here - sorry about that :) But I think it is important to see other people struggling with the same problems and not make everything seem just peachy - we al have problems and crazy thoughts, am I right? So I guess if I am writing about happy things, I will be honest about my issues as well - at least try to be as honest as I can.

Lately I have been a 50% go with the flow person and 50% stick to the plans person. But life always suprises me and things just change. 4 months ago I found out I was pregnant and I had to reasses my life right then and there - what does adding a baby in the mix mean to us as a family? What does it mean for my career and job goals? It was clear - I wanted this baby so bad and everything else came second. Me and my partner knew we wanted to stay together as we have been living together for a while now, so the choice was easy - we are happily expecting a little boy. But we wanted to move in another country and get jobs there - now this is not happening for a year. We chose to have our baby in a stabil enviroment, with a steady income, surrounded by family and friends. But we wanted our careers so bad before - now they come second. During my pregnancy I have learnt I love to sew for my little with my existing love for design and blogging - so I am now thinking I would love to continue doing that and starting my own business. Being a Jounalist at some magazine or TV station for current event seems so doll in comparisement to making my own business with my hobbies work. Is that just a temporary feeling? I have no idea. I decided I am making this my priority now and I will reasess my situation when my baby outgrows his newborn stage. And I am finishind my Masters Degree in a short few months, during my pregnancy. This is the plan for now.

How do you guys deal with life changes? Do your goals change often? I have written about figuring out you goals already and I have been doing all those things to make me feel at ease with my life. The thing is - there is no right or wrong path in life, there are only decisions that make our life go in some direction. Thats what makes me feel calm when I am freaking out about my future. Plus, I am so happy about my baby, it is crazy! He is the best thing that happened in my life, in our lives.


M.

My mind is blown! I am not one to believe in daily horoscope predictions or anything like that and I took this personality test with caution and a good sense of humour. I have no idea why I took it as a joke, because it totally works! I have recognised myself in their description, personality traits and the ways my personality type reacts on certain occurrences/events/moments in life. I have to say I was really impressed so I started reading about Myers-Briggs personality types in general and I am loving it. I even felt a little drive for wanting to research psychology a bit more, since I thought about studying it once. It was only a thought though :)
I took the Myers-Briggs Personality Test online here, but you can take on various sites, just google it. When I started reading my results, I thought that it is probably written in a general way (so a lot of different people can relate to it), but it is really not. I have read all of the 16 personality types and I could not be anything else. It is just to specific about certain things about my personality. I am a ENFT, which stands for Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving. I will not be boring you with theory about his topic (as you can look it up) so I am only writing about things that fascinate me, the results. So I am both an "idea"-person and "people"-person, which is spot on. I also like to tell funny stories and am supposedly attracted to journalism - am I? I am a Journalist by occupation! I also have what some call a "silly switch" - I can become a fun mastermind in a second! I also get bored 500 times easier as others - so true. My poor parents - raising me was hard sometimes I guess - I remember being bored constantly when we were out doing something or just hanging out with family and friends. My ability to sit still is practically non existent, I am either doing something fun and challenging physically or plotting about a new idea I just came up with. All true, people :)

Since I got a little obsessed with this topic (it will blow over quickly, just like other things in life I guess), I started reading THOUGHT CATALOG, especially articles by Heidi Priebe and I am loving her work! I laugh and I truly soak up everything she is writing about. Well, I love that site in general, I read other author's work too. But there was this one article she wrote called 25 Struggles Only ENFPs Will Understand, which made me laugh very hard and because of it I kept on reading. I even sent it over to my best friend and she agreed with me 100% that this is me, no question about it. She laughed so hard when she read this part: "Trying to explain to the people closest to you that yes you love pretty much everyone, but you love them the MOST.", because she remembered about a time when I was a bit tipsy and was trying to explain to her that I love everyone, but I love her the most :) It is hard to explain, because I obviously do not love everyone - it is just that I am OK with everyone. I cannot hate someone for long - I forget about hating them. Then I remember again sometimes, but I really can be in a friendly relationship with everyone. Not a friend but friendly. You get what I am talking about, right? Well, my fellow ENFT´s probably do! So in Heidi´s words I am a walking contradiction in almost every way, but I wouldn’t change a thing, even if I could.

I recommend reading these articles, they are interesting and fun. Well, start reading and then just scroll for more.
What Each Myers-Briggs Type Does When They’re Angry (And What They Should Do Instead)
What Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type Is Like As A Friend 
What Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type Was Like As A Child 
Here’s What You Should Do For A First Date Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type 
Here’s Who Probably Has A Crush On You Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

If you get a chance, look into it. If not for anything else, you will have fun while reading your results. Also, let me know which of these personality types are you, I would love to hear about them and if they are right about you.


M.

I always appreciate good suggestions for my blog posts and I was very happy when The Ladders introduced me to an writing prompt about first job experiences. It was a fun time in my life, I was still in high school and I love all of the anecdotes I can talk about now because of my job back then. I think everyone has a cute or funny story about the time they have entered the workforce for the first time.

First of all, you need to figure out what those goals are. Take a moment, take a week, maybe a month. Drink coffee, eat pizzas, take a trip, read a book, do whatever makes you happy and do not over think things at first. You have to be a dreamer to really understand what will make you truly happy. What will make you happy? Imagine your life a year from now or five years and get to know what will make you happy. Figure out your wants, needs and options are. Then follow these steps of action.

Family is the greatest thing in the world. They are the most important people in your life when you are a kid, then you rebel a little in your teenage years and try to spent as little of time with them you can and once you grow up you know they are your number one. No matter who they are or what they do, they are your favourite people. For many of you.
But family is not only given, many of you have chosen your family or have been chosen by them. Family is not about blood and DNA, it is about unconditional love and understanding. It is the bond between people who will love each other for ever. No questions asked, no conditions given and no misakes to ruin that love. Even if you do not get along in the best way, you always love and will be there for them. It is not where you come from, it is where you belong.

Sometime friends can be your family, your coworkers, your neighbours. Random people you have met in your life somewhere along the way and you both just clicked. Everyone has someone, even if you don´t believe in that. Find that someone in your life, who you can really call your family.

Family is a gift. I have been given the biggest treasure in life - a great, big, loving family. Some of them are my relatives, my given family, my loving confidants who I adore: my mother, sister, grandmother, grandfather, cousins;
others are my chosen family: my stepfather (the best choice for our family my mom ever made - who has been upgrated to my given family in my mind years ago), my awesome boyfriend and his great family, my new family who I love;
and my fun, crazy and loving friends, the best partners in crime a girl could ask for.

For other things in my life, that took the wrong turn in my mind at the time are so irrelevant. Having all those people makes me appreciate life so much more and not obsess about unimportant stuff. Until I have them, I will be fine, no matter what. I know that now. Once I was a very unhappy person, with a lot of issues that made no sense. I was in a bad place for years and I have had my share of problems. Real problems, which is not easy to admit. But one day I realised, I have everything that matters in life to be happy. And they will be there for me no matter what. So I thank them for that.

For my future, I hope to have them for as long as I can, all of them. I wish we could stay like we are today but I know that we will evolve (not change), we will grow (not fade) and we will love (not live) forever. Our future seems so bright. Never forget who your family is.


 M.

Did you ever think about that? Do you want to be loved, recognised and respected? Why is it that without others noticing our worth, we feel worthless. I often think about what someone said about the tree falling in the woods: If no one has heard it, did it really fall? Well it did. Whatever you did that makes you great and awesome, you have already done. Others not knowing about it, makes no difference.
Fame is just a distinction between people who get noticed and people who don´t. It is a widespread reputation, which can go either way. Famous people are as much loved as they are hated. Someone you admire is not someone who will be admired by everyone. Our world does not work like that, it is a lot more complicated. We are so different from each other that one person can never be universally liked. So by wanting fame, you should be prepared for all the haters that will come your way, as they do in your normal life.

Also: no one is famous by himself, we make him famous. We choose those people and we worship them. In our minds they are so much better than us, which is crazy if you think about it for long enough. They are just like me and you - with more money and daily plans, but they are only people at the end of the day.  No one is better than you, everyone is the best in their own uniqueness. That is what matters, You can be a great person, friend, parent, cook, dancer, painter or anything else in your life. You are the star of your own world. Act like it, do not beat yourself down. You have probably done a bunch of amazing stuff in your life, so be proud of that.
Funny thing is, we all chase after this phenomena of fame, but truly famous people have said that when you reach it, you just want to be left alone. Talk about irony. After spending years trying to stand out from the crowd, you spend years building your own little private bubble of peace and alone time. But who am I to say, I have never been famous. I am just thinking out loud here :)

I know what I want from life at this point of my life. I want respect from others and love from my loved ones. I am not greedy, I want just enough to live a normal life. But deep down inside me, there still lies a wish, a dream to become a famous writer and author. The funny thing is, I always planned to write under pseudonym, so how can I really be famous by my real name? Such a crazy wish. But what do I really need? An adventures, fun and peaceful life, filled with friends and family, love and understanding. A lot of great memories and special moments. Not crazy amounts of money. Just enough.

My crazy dream of the best life would be me, living on a island with my family and friends, hanging out on the beach and eating delicious food.


M.

Have you ever looked in the mirror and saw someone you didn´t recognise looking back? One day you are a true beauty and the next you see Shrek looking back at you. Is that really you? No way! Mirror, mirror on the wall should always respond - "you are so pretty as them all"! We are all pretty - beauty is in the eye of beholder. Please, see beauty in your own eyes, when looking in the mirror. You deserve it!
Take a test on How Good is Your Body Image HERE! If you get good results, awesome! - continue being exactly as you are! If your results are bad - get help and take your life into your own hands.
Bad self image can destroy you, it can take you down. It can make you depressed and it will make you shut everyone out. It will make you lonely and feeling worse every day. Be your own saviour and change your own destiny now!

I have been thinking about my self image for years - I am going back and forth with my thoughts on myself. One days I feel awesome, pretty and brave and on other days I feel fat, ugly and worthless. Why is that? This feelings are not a reflection of bad days, they are burnt deeply inside me and I have a real hard time getting rid of them. I was living with this feelings for to long. It all started back in school when I was still a kid. Every single bad comment was burnt in my brain, the good ones went in one ear and out the other. The fact is - I am not all bad an I am not all good. I have flaws like everyone else does and that is OK. I admit it, I could be better with my self image - I could love myself more. I think I will, I continue to learn how to be confident and proud of myself everyday. As I am getting older, I am getting fiercer! If I could feel like I do now in my teen years - life would be so much easier. but hey, my experiences made me who I am today, so I am grateful for that.

When You Start Loving Yourself, Magic Will Happen!

• You will feel lighter and life will get simpler.
• You will stop self-sabotaging.
• You will become more attractive to others.
• You will be happier.

So How To Start Improving Your Self Image?

Stop Your Inner Critic

Do not over analyse your appearance and do not thing negative thoughts about yourself. Honestly, if something is bothering you so much, make small changes and feel better.

Focus on The Good Stuff

Write down the things you are thankful for. Be happy for the good stuff you have got going on. You have got plenty, you just don´t realise that in this exact moment. Think and you will find the things that make you happy.

Meditate

Lose the stress and find your inner peace.

Work Out And Eat Healthy

Healthy habits will make you feel stronger and more comfortable in your own skin. Your body will thank you for the nutrients you are consuming with shinier hair, cleaner skin and radiant energy.

Set Goals

Finally run that marathon, join a theatre group or talk to that guy you have been wanting to talk to for years. Make a step forward and you will change your world. Thins will not always go as planned, but that's OK. You keep trying.

Choose to Be Happy

I am happy! I am happy! After saying that for 100 times, you will start feeling more and more happiness. You make your own decisions.

Handle Mistakes in More Positive Ways

Did you make a mistake? No problem, it proves you are human. Make the best you can to give up for your mistakes and always look forward. What is in the past, it is gone for ever.

Be Kind to Others

Treat others as you want them to treat you. It is simple as that - you will get what you give.

Spend More Time With Supportive People.

Why would you hang out with someone who constantly criticises you? Find supportive people and have a blast! If you surround yourself with awesome people, they will make you fell awesome too! Happiness and laughter can also be contagious.

Stop Comparing Yourself With Others

A rose can never be a sunflower and a sunflower can never be a rose. All flowers are beautiful in their own way and that is exactly how people are. You are all beautiful! Embrace your own uniqueness - I think that Miranda Kerr said that. My inner critic would say - "It is easy for you to say that, supermodel Miranda Kerr". But I muted my over-the-top inner critic.

Reward Success

When you achieve a goal, treat yourself! Enjoy those little moments of your personal triumph - no matter how small it may be.

And remember, it is a process - you will still have bad days. But your appereance will no longer define who you are as a person.


Love yourselves,


M.

Sometimes you just have one of these days - nothing feels right, nothing looks right and you are suddenly defined by how bad you feel inside. You do not look any different then other days, you are not uglier and fatter then you were yesterday, when you were fine and happy. You only feel as if you are. But there are ways to pick yourself up!

I am a queen of bad days - well, at least I have been lately. Here is why - I quit my job, which was making me miserable anyway. Now I am a real housewife (without being married and having kids part) while my boyfriend is providing for both of us. Me quitting my job was our mutual decision - we talk about it a lot and it was really messing with our lives. I was working crazy hours and haven´t received any pay bonuses for my extra work. I was responsible for a lot of  tasks and even people and I was having a hard time dealing with that. Plus, they were an internet business firm and their excuse for everything was - The Internet never sleeps. Well, I am human and I do sleep, sorry for that. In all, it was a big stressful no-no, especially when you have a history of anxiety and panic attacks. But I really thought I would find another job quickly. Three months later - still nothing. So much for my self-worth. I am feeling like nobody wants to hire me, like I have no talent and so on. But for the most part I am a better person now - I am more relaxed and calm. Still - the lack of money (my own money) is starting to take its toll on me. I have always had a job. If it was flipping burgers, selling clothes or writing articles - I always had my own income. At the moment I am completely dependent on someone else. It is not like it is awful, but I am not used to this. Also, I quit shopping for clothes and other stuff, because I do not really go anywhere. Only to exercise and hang out with friends and family (when they are out of work) and that is it. I do not need any more clothing (than I already own) but I miss shopping for them. I am a true stay at home person. At least I have my hobbies, right? But I have to say it is hard on my self esteem to realise I have nothing more to offer at this moment then cook and clean our house. I need something more. So that is what my bad days are really about lately. Funny thing about my bad days is that I always feel ugly and fat on top with everything else. Why is that? When I hate myself, I really go all out, I guess.

So for those days, when I wake up feeling useless, ugly, fat and sad, here is what I try to do.

Stop the pity party! 

It helps no one, especially you! Plus, over thinking things you have already been obsessing about for hours (days, weeks probably) gets you nowhere. Maybe a little deeper in your own sorrow. Stop that.

Take a long bath and pamper yourself

A long bath with calming vanilla scent, romantic music and a glass of wine is a perfect mini date for one - yourself. Relax and enjoy your time alone, read a good book and make yourself look pretty. Start feeling pretty.

Eat something awesome

Crepes with fresh fruit and a scoop of ice cream is heaven for my mouth! Indulge in your own favourite treats and feel good.

Watch a comedy

Preferably  something with Melissa Mccarthy, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler or Rebel Wilson - these ladies make me laugh so hard I feel better only thinking about them :) Also, a movie with Chris Pratt, James Franco, Dave Franco or anyone from The Office is also a good idea. Just sayin´,

Call up that funny friend or your mom to make you feel better

I call my mom or sister when I need advice or just a few kind word. These to really help me feel better - no one better than family, right? Plus, who else would rather help you in the entire world? They are there for you, so do not keep it all bottled inside - call someone!

Go for a long walk

Long walks in nature can really be therapeutic. There is a calmness about the outdoors you cannot get curled up inside. Watching trees in the wind, birds in the sky or any other sign of life makes you feel like you are not alone. Plus, exercise bring you hormones of happiness.

Make great plans

Past in gone, here and now looks bad for you - so make plans for the future and start living them as soon as possible. Everyone gets down sometimes, we all make mistakes and feel awful about ourselves. So change the thing which is making you so unhappy. If that is impossible, change your focus on the matter. Find something that will make you happy. Life is full of choices and possibilities - embrace them.

Get a good night’s sleep

Nothing will change your prospective like a good night´s sleep! That is something my grandparents and parent always said to me - they have been true a lot in their lives, so they must know by now! I believe them. The Sun will come out tomorrow!


Everybody get those days, even if they do not seem like they do. But they do. We all have our insecurities and we all struggle with our self image. So be kind to yourself.


M.

What if I was brave enough to put myself first and not let others influence my decisions? What if I was confident enough to make my wishes known and fight for what I was craving for inside? Would I make better life choices and be more proud of myself now? Would I avoid all of the humiliations and heartbreaks I suffered trough the years? Would that make me a better person or just more ignorant? Would I still be myself?

What if your insults wouldn´t reflect on my own prospective of my worth? Would I be better off without you in my life? What if I could trace back the time and erase you completely from my past? Would you erase me? What if I needed to get to know you just so I could realise what do I want from love in my life? What if I should be thanking you for being my teacher and friend?

What if one day I will be OK with never seeing you again and that scares me? What if I would tell you that I am happy now - would you be happy for me? Does it make sense to say that I miss how my life was then when we were an item and not really you?

What if all of this never happened, would I still find him? Would I be as happy as I am now and feel so lucky to have met so many new people who I call family today? Would I still be myself?

"You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that holds you down" - Toni Morrison

Darn it, this went on too long (wink). I admit, I have had a share of problems in my life and I have made a bunch of mistakes (like all of us do). But can I really be sorry for making them? Where they truly mistakes or just the natural flow of life? Some things are just meant to happen, there is no way around them. Have you ever been in a situation, where whatever you do, whichever side you choose - you are making a mistake? It is all about the prospective. You are going to question your decisions no matter what you choose to do. People are like that, we always second guess ourselves. Always. That is both great for us - so that we know what we did wrong and we learn something,- or bad - since we suffer while figuring stuff out.-

Here are a few things you should always forgive yourself for, because they were the right thing to do at that time.

1. The Way You Dealt With Pain

You may have said something you regret, you may have done something you are ashamed of. You probably humiliated yourself in front of others or yelled at someone who didn´t deserve that. Give yourself some slack, you were hurt, you weren´t thinking straight. Your mind was blurred with pain and you reacted impulsively and instinctively. You learnt something from that and now move on.

2. The Things You Changed Your Mind About

Once you may have said you wanted to be a doctor, veterinarian, an astronaut and felt so strongly about you future. Then you grew up a little and your plans changed, When you think about what you could have achieved, if only you stuck to your original plans, you feel guilty. Don´t.  It is like once you adored tomatoes and now you cannot stand to see, yet alone eat one of them.
People change, our hopes and priorities change and so do our friends, lovers and other things in life. Not all of them, off course. Some stay and some go. Think of love as a game and lovers as just players - even though they change, the game stays the same. The same goes for friendships, even your own wishes.

3. The Person Who You Unintentionally Hurt

There was a time in your life when you were selfish and maybe even ignorant of others´ emotions. Maybe you had a lot going in your life and didn´t stop to see what was happening around you. Maybe you were hurt yourself and didn´t care about anything at all at that time. Sometimes you may just be over all the drama and just want a break. Then something happens and you hurt someone. Even though a lot of time has passed since then, you still feel ashamed and guilty about that. If you said sorry and tried to make amends, you did your part. Let it go. Everyone has those kind of moments, you are not alone.

4. The Way You Treated Yourself

There were times you felt ugly, unnoticed, fat, skinny, dumb or whatever else was bothering you about yourself. As a result you treated yourself badly, you didn´t nurture your body as it deserves to be nurtured, you never stood up for you, you didn´t take chances and didn´t have any  trust in yourself. Since then you matured and realised your own worth but there is no going back. You feel guilty about all those if only´s and think about your past a lot. You can only live in the moment and look ahead. Let the past be where it is supposed to be - gone.

5. The Times You Embarrassed Yourself

The same goes for this one. Remember the bad times as true life lessons of what you are never repeating again. Be your own bad example.

6. The Things You Did Not Do

This one is kind of tough to get over, because we tend to be afraid of taking chances in the moment and then cheer our past self in retrospect. Why is that you see your potential in retrospect and not right here, right now? Funny creatures we are, aren´t we? Look ahead, i am sure you have a lot of things to excel at in your future. Be your own biggest cheerleader.

7. What You Are Not Ready For

If you are not ready for it, then it is probably not supposed to happen yet. Or ever, who knows. Believe in that! Life has a tendency to surprise us anyway and if things happen against your own will, they can turn out the be the best things that happened to you in your life. Do not swim against the stream, just deal with everything life throws at you.

8. All The Mistakes That Are Yet To Come

Future is not ours to see. Enjoy your here and now and keep your head up while looking ahead.

Obsession with finding the right person, a so-called soul mate has been passed down for generations in books and romance poetry. But people didn´t seem to be so hot headed when it came to love in the past. There have been a lot of legends about true love, but people did not seek for the right person for so many years while changing their mind every other weekend. Do we live in a Hollywood-romance-movies-inspired world?

It is true. I can give you so much evidence of this statement it is not even funny. That gruelling, awful and exhausting days when you feel like you have no time for even taking a breath make me question - why is the Universe working against me? Why do you hate me so much, U?

Lets take a recap of a day like that.

7AM

I wake up thinking I still have time for my daily morning routine and not sweat it. So I enter the kitchen and start to make my coffee. »Damn, I forgot to turn on the dishwasher the day before« – fine, I wash the dishes by hand, so be it. When I am finally about to make coffee, I come to find out, that we are out of it. »Damn. Fine – I will make myself a nice smoothie.« Except, all we have is a half rotten pineapple and a banana, no milk or anything else. »I have to go grocery shopping« – I decide I will do it later today. I eat the banana and go take a shower. That one goes pretty smoothly and I feel more energised after. After I start to do my makeup, no fuss - plain everyday natural makeup by using only a black pencil, mascara and a bit of blush, nothing else. But the tip of my eye pencil breaks as I am applying it and then I cannot even sharpen it, because it seems to be breaking every single time I try to. »Fine, I am OK with mascara only.« I wash the black smudge off my eye/cheek and apply mascara. No blush today, I decide. Hair in a pony tail and let´s go get dressed. I haven´t prepared my clothes the day before, so I am going trough my closet like crazy and - off course, find nothing to wear. Nothing I am pleased with, anyway. I put on a new blouse only to find out it is too wrinkled to be worn in public. I see an old dress of mine I used to love and I decide to wear that but it seems like it doesn´t fit me very well anymore. »Why? Why are you doing this to me? Damn.« So after deciding I need to lose like 10 pounds (sad face) I finally decide on plain Jeans and a white shirt – »Whatever, they are in this season«. I am almost out the door, but in the last second I decide to take the trash out, as I am already leaving the apartment. Pick them up and the bag breaks. »Seriously!?« Yup. Some weird stinky vegetable degrading liquid spashes all over the floor which took me like 5 minutes to wash up the floors. Thank god none of it got on my clothes! Double bag it, wash my hands and I am off. »Can it be super relaxed from now on?« The sun shines at me on this beautiful early summer morning and I feel like everything is going as planned from now on. Until I miss the bus into the city. It was the last FU of that morning. »Damn.«

12AM

After being late on one of my appointments (and saying sorry too many times), the day went on and I was feeling stressed because there was still so much for me to do that day. I had so many things on my list, I felt a bit sick and incapable of succeeding. I went to lunch alone, because I had to make a few of phone calls during that time. I missed a call from my mom, sister and my best friend (»Aren´t you busy at this time of day, people?« No, I am just kidding (a bit), I love hearing from you people, truly! If you wouldn´t call me, I would feel bad and unwanted – I can be depressing that way), so I returned the calls. As I was speaking and eating my yummy chicken sandwich, a big drop of sauce and tomatoes landed right on the middle of my white shirt. I felt like crying. I made a quick stop at H&M to buy a new shirt, because I had a meeting after lunch and didn´t want to look like a 3-year old after snack time. With 30 bucks less and a stress level higher I went on with my day.

Afternoon

It went pretty well from that point forward, if I don´t count trying to pay with my gym membership card at the grocery store. And bumping into my desk, a wall and probably something else. I am extra clumsy when I am in a hurry. Like really clumsy, you probably cannot even imagine (smiley face) how many bruises I can count off not even remembering where I got them from. Yup, all I needed was a break and I didn´t get one that day. I chillaxed when I got home, went for a good run and made myself and my man a great dinner. I managed checking every box on my list that day (done-zo!), with a few minor (wink) bumps on the road. I went to bed feeling extra capable and remember thinking – »The Universe is not against me, it just made me realise I can do anything, no matter what!«

Here are a few things you need to remember on "those days".

1. There Will Be Days Like This!

Always. So deal with it.

2. Keep Calm and Carry On.

Take your time, when you are in a hurry. Not like an extra hour to get ready, but in a sense of doing everything calmly. If you are ruuning crazy in a hurry, you will probably end up being more late in the end. It makes sense, belive me - if you are more calm, you probably won´t have to clean up after you spill something on your shirt or forget something at home and have to take a trip back to get it.

3. It Is All You

My day is probably not the Universes´ centre of attention, huh? It is just an expression, you guys. I know there is not someone sitting up there and watching me/us in a Big Brother style just to mess with me/us. Can you imagine how would that look like? A bunch of people (or aliens) sitting in front of computers in a call centre kind of way and pressing »Let´s fuck this one over today« Buttons. Nah, every one of us is in charge of our own little universe. Take care of it and be kind to yourself.


M.

I have been reading lots of psychology and health books for one reason only - I want to expand my horizons. Lately I feel like I am stuck in some kind of useless state in life. No job, no spectrum, no motivation. I have a lot of wishes but I have no idea how to make them happen. So I read. Someday it will come to me - I am sure of it. Until then - I will at least be well read and smart. I hope.

I picked out a few books about Color Therapy because I wanted to understand them more. I love interior design and colors are important in that field. Eight colors of the spectrum have its own vibrational frequency, its positive and negative attributes. So it is going to be fun to learn something about that - right?

Here are colors in conjunction with its complementary color:
Red - Turquoise
Orange - Blue
Yellow - Violet
Green - Magenta

Also, each color is good for use in therapy - it is just a matter of finding the right one for each condition. Even if you wont do the color therapy, you can still get something useful from this. I do believe it is something there, plus if you are unhealthy in any way I cannot see how the use of the right color could hurt.

Red

is the symbol of life, strength and vitality. It a a very powerful energiser and stimulant - it raises body temperate and improves the circulation. It is good for use in paralysis, but not with anxiety and disturbance. In conjunction with turquoise, red helps counteract infections. Interesting, right? So if you need lots of energy, this is your color.

Orange

is the symbol of feminine energy and energy of creation. It lays between red and yellow, therefore influences both physical vitality and health. It is the color of joy and happiness, it gives freedom to thoughts and feelings. Wow, I hope you guys like orange, ´cause I do not - I hope I am still feminine enough :) It is a good color to use with people who are manic-depressive and suicidal.

Yellow

is the symbol of the mind and intellect. It represents the power of thought and stimulates mental activity. Huh, I feel a lot smarter after reading this , since this is my favourite color ;)
Yellow helps us detach from obsessional thoughts, feelings and habits. It can be great when used in counselling - it can reveal weaknesses and help release deep-seated problems. Also, it works with the skin by improving the texture, cleaning and healing scars. I did not know any of that.

Green

is the color of balance, harmony and sympathy. It creates wholeness by bringing body, mind and spirit in balance. That sounds really cool to me. I always felt at ease with this color - it brings peace to my heart. It really does.

Turquoise

is the color to boost the immune system.

Blue

is the color of inspiration, devotion, peace and tranquillity. It is great for meditation and places for healing. I can really fell that when I walk into an all blue room - don´t you? Imagine a sea side cabin with white-blue rooms and nautical decor - doesn´t that make you feel peaceful? Awesome color for use in bedrooms. Blue is used to treat tension, fear, palpitations and insomnia.

Violet

is the color of spirituality, self-respect and dignity. I do connect this color with spiritual awareness. When I think about decor with violet color I always imagine some place of worship. Also, it makes me think of India, elephants and Bollywood. I cannot imagine that kind of decor in my house, but I do respect the color itself. It has a great meaning.

Magenta

is the color that enables us to "Let Go"! It allows us to let go of idea and thought patterns that are not right for us any more. Now that what I am talking about - PEOPLE NEED THIS COLOR in their lives. Am I right? I feel like we are stuck in our own patterns and we cannot let go. Lets pain our homes to magenta :)

Some interesting stuff, right? You could let a color help you with your life. If you believe in something it could be the push you needed to do something right. Believe in something. Believe in yourselves.


M.

My "champagne wishes and caviar dreams" are at times not enough for me to go from super lazy to super productive. Adding to much errands on my to-do list has made me fell a lot of pressure and suddenly I am starting to rebel against doing any of my work. I feel so overwhelmed with everything that I sometimes rather leave my work pile to just pile on up. "I will deal with it tomorrow," I say. But every day since I started dodging my duties it gets harder and harder to jump back in and just owning it. Probably because I feel more and more quilt for not doing what I am supposed to, what I wanted to, really. My "champagne wishes and caviar dreams" are slipping away from me at times and my motivation gets very low.

Only positive and happy dreams for me, please!

A few weeks ago I was being lazy in my own way - I was reading trough articles on the Internet. I am not lazy with reading, that's for sure. I came across an interesting article, where I read that I was not really lazy, but lazy productive. Imagine that! There is a difference between looking productive and actually being productive. People who look tired, exhausted are really trying to be productive, and they also are trying to do as much work as possible. But those lazy looking people, who have fun while working are in fact those who get more things done. They also know how to draw a line between their productive and relaxing hours. Happy doesn´t mean lazy. Serious doesn´t mean productive. Right?

Enlightenment

You can be lazy, productive and successful at the same time. But choose wisely with what you are going to be lazy about.

Say "no" more often.

You should really cherish your free time and not bend for anybody that is just not that important to you. Be kind and helpful, off course, but don´t be a martyr. Nobody needs someone like that, especially if you are going to resent others for your own choices.

Choose the right assignment for you, if you can.

What are your interests? Can you make your assignment more appealing to you? Try to figure something out, when you are pitching an idea to your boss, choosing a title for your thesis or just simply doing homework. If it still is extra boring for you, maybe chose a more relaxed location for you to work at.

Divide the work load.

Maybe you will get super excited about trying out a new recipe and you will make a delicious meal everyone will enjoy. But then you will get lazy and won´t feel like cleaning up that day. Fine, you can do it tomorrow. Some things are not worth feeling guilty for.

A few truths about laziness you may not see in that way - but they make sense.

1. Laziness is not the lack of organisation.

I always organise the time for being lazy. My life is a controlled chaos and I like it that way.

2. A lot of cool ideas come to me during my lazy time.

I would chill and not feel like doing anything, but then I would get this really cool idea that would totally get me in the zone and I would work for hours. I made some of my best work that way!

I am the type of person who gets nothing done until late at night, right before the deadline. But some days I would wake up extra motivated and did as much work in one day as others did in the whole week. It is the total truth - my colleagues often wondered how did I manage doing that. They have been working their butts off and I started at the last minute and pulled it off. I graduated in time, even before a lot of my colleagues in collage. I was being and still am lazy. I choose to do things that make me happy and sometimes do a lot of extra work just because I feel like it. I decided to work when I am motivated because that results are the only ones that are good in the end. I truly work hard on days like that. I go above and beyond and I am happy with my work.

That said I decided that laziness is a state of mind. Enjoy you free time like a teenager and work like a boss when you need to.


M.