Sometimes you just have one of these days - nothing feels right, nothing looks right and you are suddenly defined by how bad you feel inside. You do not look any different then other days, you are not uglier and fatter then you were yesterday, when you were fine and happy. You only feel as if you are. But there are ways to pick yourself up!

I am a queen of bad days - well, at least I have been lately. Here is why - I quit my job, which was making me miserable anyway. Now I am a real housewife (without being married and having kids part) while my boyfriend is providing for both of us. Me quitting my job was our mutual decision - we talk about it a lot and it was really messing with our lives. I was working crazy hours and haven´t received any pay bonuses for my extra work. I was responsible for a lot of  tasks and even people and I was having a hard time dealing with that. Plus, they were an internet business firm and their excuse for everything was - The Internet never sleeps. Well, I am human and I do sleep, sorry for that. In all, it was a big stressful no-no, especially when you have a history of anxiety and panic attacks. But I really thought I would find another job quickly. Three months later - still nothing. So much for my self-worth. I am feeling like nobody wants to hire me, like I have no talent and so on. But for the most part I am a better person now - I am more relaxed and calm. Still - the lack of money (my own money) is starting to take its toll on me. I have always had a job. If it was flipping burgers, selling clothes or writing articles - I always had my own income. At the moment I am completely dependent on someone else. It is not like it is awful, but I am not used to this. Also, I quit shopping for clothes and other stuff, because I do not really go anywhere. Only to exercise and hang out with friends and family (when they are out of work) and that is it. I do not need any more clothing (than I already own) but I miss shopping for them. I am a true stay at home person. At least I have my hobbies, right? But I have to say it is hard on my self esteem to realise I have nothing more to offer at this moment then cook and clean our house. I need something more. So that is what my bad days are really about lately. Funny thing about my bad days is that I always feel ugly and fat on top with everything else. Why is that? When I hate myself, I really go all out, I guess.

So for those days, when I wake up feeling useless, ugly, fat and sad, here is what I try to do.

Stop the pity party! 

It helps no one, especially you! Plus, over thinking things you have already been obsessing about for hours (days, weeks probably) gets you nowhere. Maybe a little deeper in your own sorrow. Stop that.

Take a long bath and pamper yourself

A long bath with calming vanilla scent, romantic music and a glass of wine is a perfect mini date for one - yourself. Relax and enjoy your time alone, read a good book and make yourself look pretty. Start feeling pretty.

Eat something awesome

Crepes with fresh fruit and a scoop of ice cream is heaven for my mouth! Indulge in your own favourite treats and feel good.

Watch a comedy

Preferably  something with Melissa Mccarthy, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler or Rebel Wilson - these ladies make me laugh so hard I feel better only thinking about them :) Also, a movie with Chris Pratt, James Franco, Dave Franco or anyone from The Office is also a good idea. Just sayin´,

Call up that funny friend or your mom to make you feel better

I call my mom or sister when I need advice or just a few kind word. These to really help me feel better - no one better than family, right? Plus, who else would rather help you in the entire world? They are there for you, so do not keep it all bottled inside - call someone!

Go for a long walk

Long walks in nature can really be therapeutic. There is a calmness about the outdoors you cannot get curled up inside. Watching trees in the wind, birds in the sky or any other sign of life makes you feel like you are not alone. Plus, exercise bring you hormones of happiness.

Make great plans

Past in gone, here and now looks bad for you - so make plans for the future and start living them as soon as possible. Everyone gets down sometimes, we all make mistakes and feel awful about ourselves. So change the thing which is making you so unhappy. If that is impossible, change your focus on the matter. Find something that will make you happy. Life is full of choices and possibilities - embrace them.

Get a good night’s sleep

Nothing will change your prospective like a good night´s sleep! That is something my grandparents and parent always said to me - they have been true a lot in their lives, so they must know by now! I believe them. The Sun will come out tomorrow!


Everybody get those days, even if they do not seem like they do. But they do. We all have our insecurities and we all struggle with our self image. So be kind to yourself.


M.

It is true. I can give you so much evidence of this statement it is not even funny. That gruelling, awful and exhausting days when you feel like you have no time for even taking a breath make me question - why is the Universe working against me? Why do you hate me so much, U?

Lets take a recap of a day like that.

7AM

I wake up thinking I still have time for my daily morning routine and not sweat it. So I enter the kitchen and start to make my coffee. »Damn, I forgot to turn on the dishwasher the day before« – fine, I wash the dishes by hand, so be it. When I am finally about to make coffee, I come to find out, that we are out of it. »Damn. Fine – I will make myself a nice smoothie.« Except, all we have is a half rotten pineapple and a banana, no milk or anything else. »I have to go grocery shopping« – I decide I will do it later today. I eat the banana and go take a shower. That one goes pretty smoothly and I feel more energised after. After I start to do my makeup, no fuss - plain everyday natural makeup by using only a black pencil, mascara and a bit of blush, nothing else. But the tip of my eye pencil breaks as I am applying it and then I cannot even sharpen it, because it seems to be breaking every single time I try to. »Fine, I am OK with mascara only.« I wash the black smudge off my eye/cheek and apply mascara. No blush today, I decide. Hair in a pony tail and let´s go get dressed. I haven´t prepared my clothes the day before, so I am going trough my closet like crazy and - off course, find nothing to wear. Nothing I am pleased with, anyway. I put on a new blouse only to find out it is too wrinkled to be worn in public. I see an old dress of mine I used to love and I decide to wear that but it seems like it doesn´t fit me very well anymore. »Why? Why are you doing this to me? Damn.« So after deciding I need to lose like 10 pounds (sad face) I finally decide on plain Jeans and a white shirt – »Whatever, they are in this season«. I am almost out the door, but in the last second I decide to take the trash out, as I am already leaving the apartment. Pick them up and the bag breaks. »Seriously!?« Yup. Some weird stinky vegetable degrading liquid spashes all over the floor which took me like 5 minutes to wash up the floors. Thank god none of it got on my clothes! Double bag it, wash my hands and I am off. »Can it be super relaxed from now on?« The sun shines at me on this beautiful early summer morning and I feel like everything is going as planned from now on. Until I miss the bus into the city. It was the last FU of that morning. »Damn.«

12AM

After being late on one of my appointments (and saying sorry too many times), the day went on and I was feeling stressed because there was still so much for me to do that day. I had so many things on my list, I felt a bit sick and incapable of succeeding. I went to lunch alone, because I had to make a few of phone calls during that time. I missed a call from my mom, sister and my best friend (»Aren´t you busy at this time of day, people?« No, I am just kidding (a bit), I love hearing from you people, truly! If you wouldn´t call me, I would feel bad and unwanted – I can be depressing that way), so I returned the calls. As I was speaking and eating my yummy chicken sandwich, a big drop of sauce and tomatoes landed right on the middle of my white shirt. I felt like crying. I made a quick stop at H&M to buy a new shirt, because I had a meeting after lunch and didn´t want to look like a 3-year old after snack time. With 30 bucks less and a stress level higher I went on with my day.

Afternoon

It went pretty well from that point forward, if I don´t count trying to pay with my gym membership card at the grocery store. And bumping into my desk, a wall and probably something else. I am extra clumsy when I am in a hurry. Like really clumsy, you probably cannot even imagine (smiley face) how many bruises I can count off not even remembering where I got them from. Yup, all I needed was a break and I didn´t get one that day. I chillaxed when I got home, went for a good run and made myself and my man a great dinner. I managed checking every box on my list that day (done-zo!), with a few minor (wink) bumps on the road. I went to bed feeling extra capable and remember thinking – »The Universe is not against me, it just made me realise I can do anything, no matter what!«

Here are a few things you need to remember on "those days".

1. There Will Be Days Like This!

Always. So deal with it.

2. Keep Calm and Carry On.

Take your time, when you are in a hurry. Not like an extra hour to get ready, but in a sense of doing everything calmly. If you are ruuning crazy in a hurry, you will probably end up being more late in the end. It makes sense, belive me - if you are more calm, you probably won´t have to clean up after you spill something on your shirt or forget something at home and have to take a trip back to get it.

3. It Is All You

My day is probably not the Universes´ centre of attention, huh? It is just an expression, you guys. I know there is not someone sitting up there and watching me/us in a Big Brother style just to mess with me/us. Can you imagine how would that look like? A bunch of people (or aliens) sitting in front of computers in a call centre kind of way and pressing »Let´s fuck this one over today« Buttons. Nah, every one of us is in charge of our own little universe. Take care of it and be kind to yourself.


M.